MTV takes Real World to Joisy.

Jersey Shore is by far the most exciting original programming they've debuted since the inaugural season of the Real World. Far from an eclectic cast is assembled, all of them being self-proclaimed "guidos" or "guidettes," but nonetheless, it makes for more than intoxicating viewing.
There are eight members of the house all originating from outside of the Jersey Shore. Almost all of the Cast Members also have self-proclaimed pseudonyms.
The Boys:
Mike "The Situation" - "The Situation" is a sort of double entendre which is the name of both Mike, and Mike's abs. By far the most interesting MTV cast member in years "The Situation" is able to break Jersey Shore rule #1 within the first 20 minutes of the two hour special by falling in love with a roommate.
Ronnie - Unfortunately, Ronnie doesn't have a nickname but he is built like a brick shithouse and coined one of the more memorable quotes of the two hour premier when he clarified the fact that he wanted to "pound out the whole jersey shore." Ronnie and "The Situation" might have gotten off on the wrong foot when big Ronnie swooped in on "The Situation's" in house love interest.
Paul "Pauly D" - Pauly D spends 25 minutes on his hair everyday, owns a tanning bed, has his penis pierced, and has Cadillac tattooed down his ribcage. All of this was learned in the first half hour of the episode. He and housemate, "J-Wowwwww" have sparked up a bit of a relationship by "hooking up." (I'm not entirely sure what this entails in the world Nu Joisy. According to "The Situation" it means merely a little necking on the dance floor, but to Pauly D and "J-Wowww" it seems to mean exposing privates in their bedroom.)
Vinny - Vinny doesn't do much in the first episode except contracting pink-eye. (Like the guys in Knocked Up. One of the few times I've seen pink-eye pop up in popular culture.)
The Girls:
Angelina "Jolie" - The cock-block of the house, Angelina also dislikes the housemates job, which forces them to sit around and sell T-Shirts at a 1987 tourist trap. "This is below me, I'm a bartender, I do like great things." I can only imagine that the great things are quotes dripping of comedic irony.
Sammi "Sweetheart" - The show doesn't show near as much interest in the girls as it does the guys but in her minute amount of screen time Sammi Sweetheart entraps "The Situation" into falling in love with her then smashing his poor heart as she caresses Ronnie's barbaric body.
Nicole "Snookie or Snickers or Something Like That." - "Snickers" ends up in bra and panties in the hot tub with the "guys" on night one being passed around like a beach ball. A mess ensues.
Jennifer "J-Wowww" - Yes, her nickname has three- w's at the end.
I'm afraid of where this means television is going, very, very afraid.