An Excerpt of the Worst Actors Ever.

I was asked to contribute to a worst/most annoying actors ever compilation that was being put together over at a friend of mine's blog. This is what I contributed:


John Travolta (Post 1985):
When We Thought He Had A Chance: Pulp Fiction, Basic
When We Knew He Was No Good: Battlefield Earth, Be Cool, Wild Hogs
Travolta made a living as a good looking hunk in the 1970s and succeeded with flying colors. We loved the way he danced, looked in white tighties, and talked with that New York accent. Saturday Night Fever, Grease, and Urban Cowboy all highlighted Travolta at his finest but shortly after, and it began with the horrible Saturday Night Fever sequel, the wheels seemed to come off. Until Quentin Tarantino plucked him from obscurity Travolta's biggest box office success since the 70s was the definitive 80s film (only slightly sarcastic) Look Who's Talking. Shortly after the wave of momentum that followed him from Pulp Fiction he decided to play an Angel in Michael, a rogue genius with a brain tumor in Phenomenon, opposite Nick Cage in the thriller Face/Off, and then his opus as the alien leader Terl in L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth. John, if you can hear us, please come back to us. We prefered Look Who's Talking to Old Dogs.

Paris Hilton:
When We Thought She Had A Chance: A Night in Paris (sextape), Carl's Jr. Commercials
When We Knew She Was No Good: The Hillz
Paris Hilton stole America's hearts as the billionaire heiress that just couldn't get it right. She saw a meteoric rise in fame after her sex tape was released and attempted to follow that up with several acting roles which required her to lounge in a bathing suit and utter a few inconsequential lines of dialogue as indie producers attempted to attach any recognizable name to their film. Long story short we are not interested in seeing Paris in any light with the exception of that brilliant Sony Nightvision green. Sorry, little lady, but its not working for any of us.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson:
When We Thought He Had A Chance: The Rock's fourth WWF Championship when he beat HHH, The 1991 Miami Hurricanes Football National Championship
When We Knew He Was No Good: The Tooth Fairy
The Rock, or Dwayne Johnson as he likes to be known nowadays, was an exceptional athlete, a starting defensive end one the 1991 Miami Hurricanes, one of the best teams ever, and a world class WWF Superstar. At some point he decided to pursue a career as the actor who got every role Vin Diesel declined. This led him to films like The Rundown, Doom, and most horrifically The Tooth Fairy. All this is fair and good Dwayne because you were good in The Mummy Returns, although I didn't remember you having a single line of dialogue. Basically, all I am saying is: IF YOU SMELLLLL WHAT I AM COOKING: leave those shitty roles to Vin Diesel.
ps. I would like to see the Brahma Bull make a return.

Ben Affleck: [Insert Picture from Daredevil]
When We Thought He Had A Chance: Good Will Hunting, the I'm Fucking Ben Affleck sketch on Jimmy Kimmel
When We Knew He Was No Good: Gigli, Daredevil, Pearl Harbor, Hollywoodland, Surviving Christmas, Smokin' Aces
Yes, Ben Affleck has an Academy Award. Yes, his best friend Matt Damon went to Harvard before they wrote that script. Yes, Matt Damon wrote Good Will Hunting. Ben Affleck has garned most of his post 1998 attention from his relations with a couple different Jennifers. Obviousy, he became so enamored with the Bennifer moniker he went right from J. Lo to J. Garn. Ben Affleck and his ex-lover co-headlined arguably the worst movie ever made (with at least an eence of a budget) in Gigli. For that and that alone I feel no reason that he should not be included on this list. And for good measure I leave you with a clip from Family Guy...or maybe two.